Dear Parent,
I see you.
I see the way you scan your child’s face when they’re overwhelmed. The way you hold your breath during birthday parties or family gatherings, wondering if this will be the moment someone says something that stings. I see the love in your eyes. The worry. The fierce protection. The weariness.
And I want to say something simple but true: You’re not alone.
I know this journey wasn’t what you expected. Maybe the word “autism” came with tears. Maybe it brought relief. Maybe both. But whatever it brought, it did not change who your child is.
Your child is still wonderfully made. Still full of purpose. Still held in the hands of a loving God. And you? You were chosen to be their parent for a reason.
Let me walk beside you for a moment and speak some life into your heart.
It’s okay to grieve and celebrate at the same time.
You’re allowed to feel the swirl of emotions—grief for what you thought parenting would look like, and joy for the bright, beautiful human in front of you. These feelings don’t cancel each other out. They can coexist. Give yourself permission to feel both.
And let those celebrations be loud. When your child makes eye contact, shares a new word, or finds peace in a routine—they are huge moments. You’re building a life full of meaning, even if it looks different than you pictured.
You don’t have to fix your child. You get to know them.
Autism isn’t something to cure. It’s a different way of experiencing the world. Your job isn’t to make your child act “normal”—it’s to help them thrive in the way they were made.
Learn their patterns. Their joys. Their triggers. Their strengths.
You’ll discover your child speaks in a language the world may overlook—but you were made to understand it.
Your home can be a safe space.
Let your home be the place where your child can exhale.
That might mean soft lighting, a quiet corner to reset, or sticking to routines that help life feel predictable. Maybe it’s holding back from one more activity or teaching siblings how to support instead of shame.
You’re not spoiling them—you’re supporting them. And when your child knows home is safe, their confidence grows everywhere else.
Community matters—build it with intention.
Some people won’t understand. And that hurts. But others will. Find the people who ask questions without judging. Who show up, listen well, and pray with you when things are hard. These are the people who will help carry the load when you’re tired.
And if you haven’t found your people yet? Keep looking. Keep praying. Community is out there.
You are doing better than you think.
You worry if you’re doing enough. If you said the right thing. If you handled that meltdown well. If they’ll be okay. You are showing up. You are learning. You are loving deeply. And that counts for more than you know.
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present.
God is with you—even in the chaos.
He sees the moments no one else sees: the bedtime prayers, the tears in the pantry, the whispered thank-yous for small steps forward. He’s not waiting for you to get it all right. He’s in it with you, offering peace, wisdom, and strength for each new day.
Isaiah 40:11 says He gently leads those that have young. That means you.
Your child is not a burden—they are a blessing.
Yes, the days can be hard. But your child is not too much. They are not broken. They are not behind. They are becoming. And you are part of the miracle. So keep showing up. Keep loving big. Keep clinging to grace.
You’re doing holy work.
With love and hope,
Dr. Mary
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