When your child has autism, school meetings can feel heavy. It’s like walking into a room wearing invisible backpacks—filled with emotion, hope, pressure, and maybe a little fear.
I’ve been there. I’ve sat at the table with teachers and specialists. I’ve prayed in the car before stepping into the building. And like you, I just wanted someone to see my child—not just their challenges, but their heart, potential, and God-given purpose.
If you’re standing in that space today—overwhelmed, unsure, and longing to get it right—take a deep breath. You are not alone. You are your child’s greatest advocate, and you have what it takes. Let’s walk this road together.
Know Your Child, and Help Others Know Them Too – Autism School Support
The first step in advocacy isn’t paperwork—it’s relationship. You know your child better than anyone. You’ve seen the moments when they shut down, when they light up, and when the world feels too loud. That wisdom matters.
When Dr. Mary coaches families through IEP prep and school conversations, she encourages parents to begin with observation, not argument. Don’t just memorize terms—describe your child in real life terms.
Here’s how to get started:
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Write it down. Note what works at home—routines, tools, calming techniques, sensory strategies.
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Be specific. Instead of saying, “She struggles with change,” say, “She thrives with visual reminders and notices of transitions ahead of time.”
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Create a “student snapshot.” This one-page overview should include:
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Strengths and interests
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Communication preferences
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Sensory sensitivities
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What motivates your child
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Triggers and what helps de-escalate them
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When you walk into a meeting with this level of clarity, you shift the tone from defensive to collaborative. You invite teachers into partnership by painting a fuller picture of who your child really is.
As a Parent, Learn to Build Trust and Use Your Voice with Grace
It’s easy to walk into school meetings with a guard up—especially if previous experiences have been disappointing. But the most effective advocacy doesn’t start with fighting. It starts with faith and relationship.
Dr. Mary often says, “Put relationship before reaction.” This means:
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Pray before the meeting. Ask God for peace, discernment, and favor (James 1:5).
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Lead with appreciation. Start the conversation with gratitude for a teacher’s effort or insight. It softens hearts and reminds everyone that you’re on the same team.
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Ask questions with humility. Say things like, “Can you help me understand how this support will look during transitions?”
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Offer suggestions, not ultimatums. Instead of, “This isn’t working,” try, “At home, we’ve had success with a sensory break after recess—would that be possible at school?”
When advocacy is wrapped in grace, it invites collaboration instead of conflict. And when it’s grounded in prayer, it brings peace where panic used to live.
Real-Life Steps to Build Confidence When Advocating for Your Child
Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you stay organized, grounded, and effective as you advocate for your child in school:
1. Trust What You Know
You don’t need a degree to have authority in your child’s life. You are an expert by experience. Your observations and voice matter in every room.
2. Bring a Supportive Presence
You’re allowed to bring someone to meetings with you—a spouse, friend, or advocate. Sometimes just having another person by your side helps you feel more confident and calm.
3. Learn the System—but Don’t Get Lost in It
Understanding IEPs, 504 Plans, and special education terms can help, but don’t let jargon intimidate you. You can ask for explanations. You can pause a meeting if needed.
4. Know What to Ask For
Every child’s needs are different, but here are a few common accommodations for autistic students:
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Sensory breaks during the day
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Alternative testing settings
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Visual schedules or social stories
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Clear, consistent communication methods
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Reduced homework or flexible deadlines
If you’re unsure what’s available, ask the team or explore local advocacy organizations for ideas.
5. Keep a Record—with Grace
Keep a folder (physical or digital) of your child’s IEP documents, meeting notes, and key emails. This isn’t about “gotcha moments”—it’s about staying informed and able to follow up clearly.
6. Follow Up Kindly but Firmly
If something isn’t being followed, speak up—but do it in a spirit of partnership. A simple email like, “I wanted to follow up on the sensory support we discussed—can we check in about how that’s going?” goes a long way.
7. Focus on Growth, Not Perfection
Your child doesn’t need a flawless experience to grow. Neither do you. Progress will come in steps, not leaps. Some days will be hard. Others will surprise you. Keep your eyes on the long game.
Root It All in Love and Faith
The most important thing you bring into that school building isn’t a binder full of notes. It’s your love. Your advocacy is an act of love—a reflection of God’s love for your child and your commitment to their flourishing.
Don’t forget: God chose you to be your child’s parent. Not by accident. On purpose. And He equips those He calls.
So when it’s hard to find the words, pray. When you feel dismissed, lean into grace. When you’re tired, remember you are planting seeds—of confidence, dignity, and self-worth—that will bless your child for a lifetime.
If you need more encouragement, I invite you to listen to Episode [Insert Episode Number] of The Dr. Mary Podcast, where I walk you through real-life stories, IEP preparation strategies, and how to advocate with peace and power.
You’ve got this, friend. Not because everything is perfect—but because you’re anchored in something deeper.
And I’m cheering you on, every step of the way.
-Mary
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